It's been a few days (or, in some cases [SCREW YOU KANSAS], a week) since a the juggernauts got picked off in the NCAA tournament. But the dust settled, the stage is set, and the show will continue without the likes of promising NBA prospects like Kansas' Cole Aldrich, Ohio State's Evan Turner, or Kentucky's crazy ass freshmen. They're all gone. Left is a field of mostly -- gulp -- college basketball players. It almost feels disgusting to type. But we press on. So let's rank them in order of rooting interest from least favorite to favorite based on arbitrary and petty biases. Join me, won't you?

4) Duke (1-Seed)


Seeing Duke as the tournament's last standing 1-seed standing reminded me of a Drew Magary tweet from a few days ago:

God dammit, if all these upsets happened just so fucking Duke could waltz to a title, I'll kill a baby.

I'm not on that level, but it would be a pretty big bummer if Duke just eviscerated everybody from here on out (not out of the question). Regardless, this isn't a classic "Duke Sucks I Hate Them!" team. My close to full 180 on Duke has been well documented. I'm over the all-out blind hatred of this program. They bring too much quality to college basketball. Will I always go for UNC in the rivalry? Yeah. Do I hate white people always and forever? Of course. But I'm sorry, Duke's off the hook. They made a Final Four, and the idiots who claim the team isn't even "good" have to shut up for at least another year.

Something I'm Torn On?: Jon Scheyer. When he snubbed Illinois, it was without a doubt the Illini's most embarrassing snub ever. Illinois is one of those teams that seemingly let's 75% of local guys go out of state. So obviously this was hilarious and immediately made me like him. He's also Jewish, which is only unfortunate because Shanoff claims him all the time, and that pisses me off. The upside is the Illinois snub caused a a huge stir at a JewishJournal.com sports blog, which produced a quality lament we can all make fun of (emphasis mine)...

Charlie Villanueva. Shaun Livingston. Julian Wright. All have gone to the NBA. All have had mediocre careers. And all have screwed over the Fighting Illini. They would get to their podium to announce their college decision and then leave you me in the cold. And now I hate them all fairly and equally.

But when Jon Scheyer snubbed Illinois and it hurt so much more. First off, Scheyer has a Jewish father. Also, he grew up not far from me. He was the talk of the town as a freshman in high school. Do you know how much nachas I would have gotten from rooting for this kid? Secondly, Scheyer played for the Illini's coach, Bruce Weber's brother in high school. So when he decided to pass on Weber's offer and go with Mike Krzyzewski and the Duke Blue Devil[s] it was total shock and devastation for Jewish Chicagoans everywhere.

Haha, Scheyer is awesome. Final decision made. Though I wish he was more athletic (completely out of his control), it's pretty apparent he's maximized his potential as a college basketball player. And that's admirable. I won't even include a gratuitous picture of him making one of those doggy-like faces. That's respect, Jon.

Duke also has Steph Curry's brother (Seth), who can't play due to his recent transfer but will presumably be cool next year.

Argument from a fan of the team?: Former Deadspin Intern, Duke Senior, and Duke Chronicle writer Ben Cohen was nice enough to e-mail me a defense of this year's squad.

Already, I can hear the jeers and read the taunts and sense the vitriol that will imbue Indianapolis, all directed at the Duke team that seems like every other Duke team. Usually, the disdain for the Blue Devils is merited. J.J. Redick threw up the shocker when he swished threes, and Christian Laettner blew kisses to the crowd. Those guys--the so-called villains of Duke Basketball, the ones who are still synonymous with the program--welcomed the attention and reveled in the heckling. This team? Jon Scheyer makes funny faces and Brian Zoubek has a beard. That's about it.

The real reason to root for this Duke team--or at least not root against it, because I recognize I'm on a kamikaze mission here--is because it's not the Duke team you want it to be. This team wins without superstars, without flash and without a John Wall dance. It wins with an efficient offense and a swarming defense. It wins with experienced veterans, juniors and seniors who lost in the first round in the NCAA Tournament and were told, over and over, that the Duke they knew as middle schoolers--well, it was dead, long gone. This team wins because it has lost. And, no matter how many times you delighted in watching Deron Washington jump over Greg Paulus, that's something to which we can all relate.

You should also check out his Duke Chronicle column for some expansion on these thoughts.

Something Funny?: Listen, I didn't go to the well for the Scheyer pic, but come on, we're talking about Duke and funny, we've GOT to include a Coach K rat picture, right? I think that's the rule. But no! We're hitting above the belt today, so I think I'll go with this recent find.

Bonus points for originality. It's much better than the completely unoriginal "Dook" alternate spelling, which is pretty much completely stupid. As far as Coach K goes, it's important to remember he's the same guy who gave us this. So we'll end this with Great Moments in Cinematic History, reenacted by Duke basketball players.

VERDICT -- They're probably still the worst-case scenario champion, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. They're likable, dammit.

3) Michigan State (5-Seed)


It was a toss up between them and WVU for the 2 and 3 spots, and while they ended up at 3, I had been rooting for them up to this point in the tournament.

Something I'm Torn On?: Tom Izzo's coaching impact. Cousin Sal was ragging on this the other day on a B.S. Report. His point was basically this: look, Izzo is unarguably a decorated and successful coach, but it's not like he controlled the outcome of the buzzer beating shot which sent MSU to the Sweet 16. It was either going to go in or it wasn't. That's that. So while we shower Izzo with credit throughout this week (and maybe next), it's important to remember coaches don't control everything. Players play, right?

Argument from a fan of the team?: My friend Dan is a recent MSU grad who won a National Title on the Spartan water polo team. He weighs in...

You should root for Michigan State because they play basketball as a team and have been without Kalin Lucas most of the tournament. They are easy to root for because they do everything right, and we have two walk-ons who play big minutes at times. Plus Jay-Z wrote a song about Tom IZZO... H to the IZZO! Lastly, with everyone being so environmentally conscious, it is so easy to go GREEN!

Without reservation, this is the funniest team defense we'll get all day.

Something Funny?: Hmm...


VERDICT -- I wouldn't mind seeing 'em win... The injury angle is nuts. How the hell are they in the Final Four again? It's pretty incredible. That Tom Izzo!

Plus maybe, finally, this year, if they win, they can SAVE DETROIT.

2) West Virginia (2-Seed)


Something I'm Torn On?: I know complaining about University of Michigan related things is comparable to White Whine, so I'll keep it brief and obscene: West Virginia fans were complete bitches about losing Rich Rodriguez and Jon Beilein to UM. It got to the point where mgoblog was referring to it as West F-In' Jihad. They treated Rodriguez especially terrible, which irked me. People need to get over their inferiority complex when it comes to certain jobs within their favorite universities and colleges. I'm an Iowa grad, but I completely recognize my school's basketball head coaching position is essentially a stepping stone job. If we had a born 'n' bred Iowan who resurrected the program, made us entertaining for a decent stretch, then bolted for a program like UConn, I wouldn't begrudge this person at all. I'd mostly think it was funny. So... maybe I shouldn't be the person to have a hardline opinion on this.

Argument from a fan of the team?: No response from my West Virginia person, so we'll go with the my former college roommate's (Iowa fan) unsolicited input on the situation:

...I was a fan of this guy.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_drUMJ9HF-tQ/SbV4iVEuzqI/AAAAAAAAHy0/OTjXGAKzHwc/s400/pitts.jpg

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_toRq6KFKt5A/RdDLPCj_jWI/AAAAAAAAAaU/npsNbXeNT4w/full.getty-71621695js067_rookie_shoot_3_41_49_pm.jpg

http://www.40acressports.com/images/pittsnogle3.jpg

Man, Pittsnogle.

Something Funny?: Three.

1) In Morgantown, they burn couches. This is cool.
2) Bob Huggins.

3) I know it's one of the most played out things the sports blogosphere has to offer, but I will never get over this person.

Ever.

But really, the Pittsnogle pics weren't enough?

VERDICT -- I would love to see this team win. Plus Pat White was about the coolest guy ever.

1) Butler (5-Seed)

Having them at No. 1 kind of gives me the feeling I got when I put the Saints in the top spot of the NFL Final Four post. It's almost too easy of a choice, but it's probably the right thing to do. The Saints decision certainly played out well. It was a great time for everyone.

UPDATE: I totally forgot to talk about their coach. Man, he's young.

Something I'm Torn On?: Over 33% of Butler's roster is black. I was blown away to find this out. I guess we're cool from that perspective. Sorry, KKK.

They are located in Indiana, however, which is a secretly terrible state. I say "secretly" only because it's next to Ohio. This is the equivalent of Lindsay Lohan standing next to Amy Winehouse. Winehouse is Ohio.


Argument from a fan of the team?: My friend Pete is an Illinois State student with girlfriend who currently attends Butler, and from what I understand, he'll be making a pilgrimage to Indianapolis for the Final Four. He sez...

Why not root for Butler? I can not think of one reason NOT to root for them. They are the smallest school to ever reach the final four making them the ultimate Cinderella... and out of the Horizon League nonetheless. Butler has just as much history (yes, even as much as you, Duke) as every other team in the Final Four. Eighty-two year old Hinkle Fieldhouse is the ultimate place to watch a basketball game. They boast and NBA talent in Gordan Hayward (The Babyfaced Assassin). Matt Howard's attempt at a mustache is highly comical (it reminds me of Larry Bird's mustache). This is Butler's first trip past the Sweet 16. During a press conference, sophomore guard Ronald Nored talked about asking Coach Stevens how they go about getting tickets for their families for the Final Four. Brad Stevens didn't even know how to respond, which just shows how cool it is for them to even be at this point. Oh Yeah... and did I mention that the Final Four is being played just 6 miles from their campus? So I think the question isn't why should you root for them... but why not?!

Man, mustaches are confounding.

Something Funny?:


VERDICT -- Butler is my decision, I s'pose. But who is your pick? Get it... pick?

/I'll show myself out

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