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Good Night, C.J. Watson

by Ricky O'Donnell on September 15, 2010 at 12:25AM


TUP went on record to predict bright things for freshly opened Bulls backup point guard C.J. Watson when he was acquired in July. Some of our favorite NBA scribes lauded the move, and it's easy to see why: Watson was productive in dystopian Golden State a season ago, and he comes to Chicago on a fair contract, with enough youth, and carries a sizable amount of upside. Talking yourself into the 2010 Bulls became everyone's favorite summer hobby post-The Decision, and C.J. Watson is part of the reason why.

Unfortunately for TUP (and, to an extent, C.J. Watson himself) it looks like this prediction will go south, much like our Great Grossman Love of 2007.  This is because C.J. Watson probably won't be alive for much longer. Floyd Mayweather - boxer, rapper - has vowed to kill him.

The deets, from AOL Fanhouse, a company who knows a thing or two about domestic violence:

Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. gave his ex-girlfriend $200 to put under their daughter's pillow for a lost tooth before threatening, hitting and taking a cell phone from the woman in an argument that led to a felony charge last week, according to a police arrest report made public on Monday.

The 33-year-old Mayweather is quoted as threatening to kill 30-year-old Josie Harris and her new boyfriend during the argument early Thursday at a home in southwest Las Vegas, and stating, "I'm going to have you both disappear," according to the report.

Harris' boyfriend is Chicago Bulls player C.J. Watson, according to TMZ.

Floyd Mayweather is not a great person to mess with. I say this confidently. For one, Floyd Mayweather beats people up for a living, and does it quite efficiently: he has fought 41 times and he has won 41 times. Moneyball-level efficiency right there. Jeremy Brown-esque.

Also, Floyd Mayweather is very rich. If ever given the option to piss off a rich person or a poor person, the choice seems obvious, no? Here's how rich Floyd Mayweather is: in Forbes' list of the "Richest and Powerful Sports Athletes of 2010", Mayweather placed second at $65 million, trailing only the increasingly hilarious Tiger Woods. Not sure how Forbes calculated Mayweather's "power score", but TUP's sources say it likely fell somewhere between "Power" (low end) and "Power (Remix)" (high end). Fairly powerful, I'd say.

For his part, C.J. Watson has kept his mouth and computer shut. This noteworthy because C.J. Watson is, surprisingly, the most active Chicago athlete on Twitter. Watson has tweeted 5,941 times, or 4,457 more than I have. He also boasts over 319,000 followers. That's 238,000 more than Ozzie Guillen, 15,000 more than Kristin Cavallari, and 253,000 less than Pee-wee Herman. Pee-wee Herman puts up numbers.

What we do now: wait. Mayweather can strike at any time, and only fools would anticipate a warning. Just know that one morning you will wake up and C.J. Watson will already be gone. 'Tis why we are eulogizing him right now. Wonder how many Twitter followers he'll lose after he dies.

And to combat the loss of their backup point guard, the Bulls will trade for Kirk Hinrich. Everyone will be sad.  

11 Comments | Leave a comment

This is going to go down as my favorite Chicago storyline of the year, for sure. Money can hire the finest hitman he wants, two of my odds-on favorites include: Bruce Willis' character in Lucky Number Sleven or the father of the main characters in Boondocks Saints.

Hahahaha, Jeremy Brown reference.

lol Jeremy Brown

Floyd doesn't have the guts to beat up Pacquiao, so he beat up a lady instead. Whattaguy!

CJ just needs to contact Manny Pacquiao for him to become safe.

Don't worry I'll send you my bodyguards withem Uzi's and AK 47's and will help you shut that Gaylord Weather Jr. up.

Mayweather ain't gonna do jack! And he will be BROKE in 10 years. The chump missed out on the big money fight with pac-man. No one wants anything to do with this guy now that he has shown he can beat up women and kids. He lost a fine old lady and C.J. will have fun with that for a while to come.

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