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Colt Brennan! Matt Gutierrez! Preseason Football! Many Worthwhile Exclamation Points!

by Ricky O'Donnell on August 20, 2010 at 1:58PM


http://www.tremendousupsidepotential.com/img/colt-brennan-raiders.jpg
So chill. Such a bro.

Standard weekday morning operating procedure dictates that I spend my time cruising (just cruising) the Internetz for anything blogworthy*. Today's most exciting new discovery: Weezer set to plan Blue/Pink tour! Oh, but after that, definitely this tweet from ESPN Chicago. Definitely.

http://www.tremendousupsidepotential.com/img/espn-chicago-twitter.jpg 
Type "define: blogworthy" into Google and this is the first result, I believe. And how could it not be? Two crappy/funny quarterbacks who were notable three years ago playing against each other in a double-asterisk *important* preseason NFL game? HEAVEN, as the kids say.

Here's the lede:

The Chicago Bears and Oakland Raiders might both be using quarterbacks they didn't plan to in their preseason game.

Injuries to two Oakland quarterbacks could result in playing time Saturday for the recently acquired Colt Brennan. Chicago backup Caleb Hanie's shoulder sprain might force the Bears into using Matt Gutierrez after only three days of practice with the team.

Set your DVR's, am I right? But it turns out that this lede is pretty, you guessed it, misleading. This is why people should only read the first two paragraphs of any journalism story: it's just more exciting that way. See, if you read on, you'll only find out bummer stuff like this:

Sixth-round draft pick Dan LeFevour figures to get most of the snaps for the Bears, possibly even all of those after Cutler leaves the game.

What? Booooo. And what about Colt?

Kyle Boller will back up starter Jason Campbell against the Bears. Boller, signed by the Raiders in June after a season with St. Louis, led the late comeback last week.

...

... and Brennan, signed Aug. 7, will be the third QB.
TALK about anti-climactic. Guess we'll just have to skip this one, everybody.

* This ends Monday, unfortunately. I just got the first 9-5 job of my life, so TUP is going to be slowing down a bit. Hopefully I can still write a few posts a week. We'll see how it goes.






19 Comments | Leave a comment



R.I.P.T.U.P

If this site still existed I probably would have written a post on BIEBER STEALING THE STANLEY CUP! http://www.toofab.com/2010/06/04/justin-bieber-stanley-cup-today-show-photos/

Fuggin weezer. Rivers Cuomo can suck my middle nut. It's not really a Blue/Pinkerton tour, it is a Blue show and then a Pinkerton show the next night. When he isn't busy naming albums stupid shit like "Raditude" and putting fat tv stars on the cover (there were plenty of colors to go, Rivers) , he's collaborating with Lil Wayne and singing lyrics like "I gotta have a lot of pretty girls around me". Sorry, R.C. Your stunning ironic social commentary stopped being ironic

You used to be the bees mother fucking knees when you played Half-elven Thieves in Dungeons and Dragons, creeping on Japanese teenagers (he ended up marrying one) and . You recently said in an interview, "I dont know why it used to take me so long to write songs. Now it just takes 1 or 2 days." And that is the fucking problem. Instead of catering to the geek rock crowd that made you, you write songs for... does anyone actually listen to fucking Weezer anymore? Even dumbass high school girls tune them out now.

""There's definitely going to be more raw rock energy on this one."" Yeah rivers? By rock do you mean cocaine, shortened to crack, which sounds like cock? Because if someone told me the next Weezer album will have a lot more raw cock energy, I'd believe it.

...who cares?

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