The Ballad of Ricky-Bobby: Hometown Heroes

(Note: Ricky and I had some scheduling issues this week. But like Cal Ripken Brett Favre A.C. Green, the Ricky-Bobby streak must go on. In his place is TUP friend, Kansas City dweller, former Illinoisan, and resident Dan Le Batard, Brian P. -- who has requested I don't link to his Twitter.)


Why do we get so excited when athletes from our hometown (or home state... or whatever) do well on the national stage?


BOBBY: So Evan Lysacek just won the gold medal in some figure skating thing yesterday. Outside of hoops and anything Usain Bolt does, I don't really care all that much about the Olympics. I could care less about figure skating. But because he went to our high school (Neuqua Valley in Naperville, Illinois), I'm pretty damn fired up about it. I'm not sure why, exactly. Why is it that we, as sports fans, get so excited about local kids making it in the sports world?

I mean, I had a sociology class with him in 2002, talked to him maybe four or five times, and that's it. It's not like he knows who I am. He may as well be a stranger. Still, he won the fuckin' gold! And I used to pseudo-know him! Pretty damn cool. Maybe I'm enjoying it because it reflects well on the high school? Famous alumni and such? Or maybe it's the mutual experience. Like: he grew up where we grew up, he went to the restaurants that we went to, he knows winter sucks like we know winter sucks. I'm not totally sure.

Theories?

BRIAN: I have been asking myself the same question since hearing about Lysacek making the Olympics. When I first heard he was competing, I made a few comments about how I "knew" the guy and he went to my high school. I didn't make too big a deal about it because no one cares; especially because he's a male figure skater. But for some reason, I felt a sense of complete entitlement last night for no valid reason. I was at a late night happy hour (a little glassy eyed) and saw the results come across the bottom line. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I started talking some serious shit. I was dropping terms like "Triple Sow Cow" and "Quadruple Lutz", all while not knowing what they were or if they were real moves (jumps?). Now, no one around me cared or had any interest in men's figure skating, but because he was from Naperville and we went to the same high school, I felt a certain sense of pride that I was completely undeserving of. Do you have any stories involving Evan, and what are your overall opinions on men's figure skating?
BOBBY: All of my Evan stories are vague and boring. Just like "he was nice", "he missed school a lot for skating stuff", "he seemed like he was destined for big things" ... stupid crap like that.

I wouldn't say I'm anti-figure skating, but I'm certainly not pro. I just find it hard to get behind sports with a judging system. For a direct and timely example, we can go with Lysacek's gold from last night: the Russian is pissed!

"You can't be considered a true men's champion without a quad," the 27-year-old told Russian state television RTR.

[...]

"For someone to stand on top of the podium with the gold medal around his neck by just doing triple jumps, to me it's not progress, it's a regress because we've done triples 10 or even 20 years ago," Plushenko said.

"Just doing nice transitions and being artistic is not enough because figure skating is a sport, not a show," he said.

"Of all the men who had competed tonight, only two--myself and (Japan's) Takahiko Kozuka (who finished eighth)--were able to land a clean quad.

"Later, when I saw Kozuka I shook his hand and congratulated him, saying 'Well done'. I also have a lot of respect for (Japan's bronze medallist) Daisuke Takahashi for trying to attempt a quad. That's a sign of a (future) champion."

Those are all real quotes, but they almost feel like satire. Or a Ben Stiller playing a villain in a sports movie.

The crazy bastard -- despite a history of whining -- does have a point. If Lysacek isn't going to even attempt something bad ass, then why is he snagging gold? I don't know enough about it to have a real opinion, but this isn't the shit I'd like to deal with as a fan. It's like the BCS but somehow worse.

BRIAN: If I were a fan, I would definitely not want to deal with judging drama. Which makes me question why college football is so great. But maybe that's why the "sport" is so appealing to some people. It's a show, its a spectacle, its a...Ben Stiller movie, ugh. Without the drama, would it have the same sort of appeal to skating enthusiasts? I don't know the answer to that, but when I think of figure skating, I think of Russian judges screwing someone and lots of people complaining. I just have to believe that without the drama, it wouldn't be the same.

BobbyStompy is the assistant editor of Tremendous Upside Potential. He can be reached at stompaberdeen [at] aol.com. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy.