Dubs Dread: Death and Taxes

In 1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy with the infamous line:

"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

To a certain extent that is true. There are no guarantees in life. No promises of happily ever after, merrily merrily merrily or wishes on a star. Life just is. You take the good with the bad. You make lemonade out of lemons. You keep your fingers crossed. Hopefully, everything works out for the best.

But in sports there are guarantees. Especially one very real, very BIG guarantee. Your team is going to be a loser. Every year only one team, one fan-base, will enjoy the right to be a winner. You, especially me, will not enjoy that right. We will sit and watch as another team, from another city, gets crowned the champ. Your team is almost guaranteed to FAIL.


There was a time I put everything into every season, every game and every pitch, play or shot. I don't do that anymore. As I "grow-up", I have become a more cautious fan. I blame a lot of that on the 2008 Cubs, I think. I was working for them at the time for the VineLine magazine and put my soul into that team. The clubhouse was great, Hendry killed it at the trade deadline and the Cubs looked poised to actually make a run at the World Series. They, obviously, didn't and got swept by the goddamn Dodgers.


I was at the first two games in that series. They were terrible. Watching this team that I was so invested in crumble was pretty earth-shattering for me as a fan. After Game 1 I got absolutely hammered, enough to miss work the next day. The impending death of my Cubs was closing in. I could see it and I tried to wash it away with a waterfall of rum and cokes and Jameson shots. It worked... for about 12 hours.

Game 2 was an even worse nightmare. It was clear. The Cubs were done. It hurt pretty bad. I didn't leave the park for about 45-minutes, sitting in my seat just staring at the field. I think that is when my whole-hearted, die-hard stance on "fan" melted away. I am not saying this a good. It is probably bad, but it does save me from disappointment every new season.

So, as you fill out your taxes this season, remember your impending death and your favorite team's failure. It's all we're guaranteed in life.

Then again. Stanley Cup or BUST!!! Go Hawks!!!