February 2010 Archive

The Ballad of Ricky-Bobby: Olympic Hockey, Adam Banks

by Bobby Loesch on February 26 at 2:16PM

(Note: most of this post was written pre-epic destruction)

Men's hockey in the Olympics has been pretty compelling thus far. Do you care?

BOBBY: I'd say I care quite a bit. It's a nice mix of watching the greatest players in the world combined with watching "our guys" (various players from the 'Hawks) combined with the success of America. Speaking of... how on earth did you miss the USA-Canada game? I swear it was one of the best hockey games I've ever seen. It was like America snuck into the lion's den and ripped out the heart. Only the lion came back to life, seeded quite low.

It's like Canada has been on a mission since. They obliterated Russia. Meanwhile, the US kind of squeaked it out against Switzerland. Is USA-Canada in the finals a foregone conclusion? Would your interest in the finals dissipate if both teams were eliminated? How insulted should hockey fans be that we're trying to prognosticate in any way? Time will tell.

I think as long as Canada is in the mix, I'm interested. The Luongo-Brodeur storyline, for me, is too compelling to miss out on. Plus host country. It always comes back to host country.

RICKY: ... how on earth did you miss the USA-Canada game?

It's a long story, one I decided against telling here. In one sentence: I was in St. Louis watching the Undertaker get literally lit on fire while hanging out at a casino with an East St. Louis local who introduced himself as "Adam Banks" (seriously), claimed he's boys with Keyshawn Johnson, Ron Artest, and Ocho Cinco and insisted "trappin' ain't dead", whatever that means. Also, I think I drank somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 to 17 beers. It was a nice little Sunday.

Anyways....

Yes, hockey. I, too, am enjoying it. But between work and watching Rey Mysterio do swantom bombs off of the St. Louis arch, I actually haven't been able to watch as much of it as I'd like. I did catch the final two periods of USA-Swiss game though, and that really was riveting stuff.

I assume people with an aversion to hockey would say it needs more scoring (anti-soccer dopes would likely argue the same thing), but that was game fairly mesmerizing and there was only one goal. The US was peppering Jonas Hiller with shots seemingly every five seconds, and he was making some unreal stops. If watching Olympic hockey has taught me anything, it's that the Blackhawks would likely go undefeated if they had Hiller or Ryan Miller in net. I like Huet and Niemi and stuff, but man, Hiller and Miller just seem to exist on another planet.

I really wanted to catch the Canada-Russia game, but was unable to. I couldn't believe the score when I saw it hours after the game finished somewhere online. Did you see it? Was it really that much of an annihilation? I guess when the score's 7-3, it sort of has to be. I was pretty bummed out by Russia losing, I rooting for Ovechkin to single-handidly pull the upset and then make fun of maple syrup or something in his post-game comments.

Having a potential Canada-US gold medal match is pretty great, though. If it happens, I just hope we (U-S-A!) don't get smoked like Russia. As long as it's close for the majority of it, I won't even be pissed if Canada wins. And yes, that stance has everything to do with Jonathan Toews.

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BOBBY: That story could have been 80% less entertaining, but I still would have liked it because of the Banksy reference. How is he not everybody's favorite Mighty Duck? He was easily the best player (the only one to even sniff varsity in "Mighty Ducks 3"), he had a personality that meshed with everyone, he got called 'cake eater' regularly by his teammates (is that an actual insult for rich people?) and never complained or made fun of their poverty, and, by my estimates, he probably banged the most/hottest chicks outside of the Bash Brothers (specifically Portman). The only knock you could really have on him is injuries as he got knocked out of the Hawks game in the first movie and battled wrist issues at the Junior Goodwill games in the second movie -- which he overcame. Yet he somehow gets overshadowed by Russ Tyler (the Robert Horry of the team) and Goldberg (who wasn't even the best goalie on the roster). What a travesty.

(I can't believe how much more I know about this than actual hockey. I am not ashamed.)

It's weird how we, as American hockey fans, told ourselves we were the underdogs going into the Canada game (we were), yet our victory over Canada has made us even more nervous if we were to play them again in the finals. How is that possible? Is it because they probably outplayed us? I'm feeling a bit Cubs-ish about it. We're the No. 1 seed, son!

Russia-Canada was a total beatdown. One of those games where you knew it was over in about ten minutes. RIP, Ovie in the Olympics. At least he had an incident after the game. He's the best.

I would love to see USA-Canada in the finals over anything else. Another odd Canada phenomenon is how many Americans actually like Canada against any team except Team USA. Count me as one of those people. I'd love to see Canada win if America doesn't. Why is this acceptable? It's got "I like the Cubs and White Sox" written all over it, no? Or maybe it's different... somehow.

Seriously, though, Banks was the man.

RICKY: I think everyone's getting behind Canada for three reasons.

a) Chiefly, their fans care so much. Is it possible that Canada's hockey fanaticism actually outweighs soccer fanaticism from the heavy hitters of that world? I mean, minus the violence. I can't see Canadians killing over a national team hockey loss, but anything else is probably in play. I actually can't wait for the World Cup so I can compare and contrast crazy hockey and soccer fans. My hypothesis is that Canadian hockey fanaticism compares favorably. We'll see.

b) Canada obviously has the best team. I don't know that much about hockey, anyone who reads this site knows that. But looking about Canada's roster, they only have three guys I've never heard of. That means all these dudes are stars. Is this sorta like the '92 Dream Team? After placing 7th in 2006, maybe this year's Canada group is actually more like the Redeem Team.

c) They're the host country. It would never mean more to them than right now.

That being said, if the US somehow shocks the world and knocks them off in the gold medal game, I'll feel like I just stole someone's winning lottery ticket. Totally didn't deserve, yet super happy.

BobbyStompy is the assistant editor of Tremendous Upside Potential. He can be reached at stompaberdeen [at] aol.com. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy.

February 2010 Archive

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