Dubs Dread: Cha Cha Cha Cha CHANGES!!! Chicago and Free Agency.

For the past two plus years I lived, breathed, drank, ate and slept Lincoln Park. It quickly became my new home. The place I would huff my chest out proudly and proclaim, "yes, I live in Lincoln Park." I felt comfortable with the neighborhood--its apartments, nice restaurants and bars--and like David Wooderson in Dazed and Confused I loved the idea that as I grew older the girls (in a Southern draw) "stay the same age". It was a place I became quite fond of, except for one minor detail... it was, is, a very expensive place to live. So, as my last lease expired I found myself just saying, "fuck it" and moved back in with my parents.

" L-IV-I-N"

Like the Milton Bradley signing, I quickly realized what a mistake it was. My soul, like the Cubs record, quickly sank and I felt lost. All those wonderful things I loved about Lincoln Park were gone--the apartments, nice restaurants, bars and the girls--replaced with suburbia and my mom. It was what I imagine the first circle of Hell being in my own Divine Comedy. A change WAS a must.

Therefore, I got the fuck out and moved to a neighborhood I had never even been to, Roscoe Village. It definitely was a change that was needed, but it was also a VERY big step away from what I was accustomed to. The apartments were replaced with quaint homes, the nice restaurants with quaint delis and candy shops, the bars with quaint, well there are still bars, and the never aging girls with quaint married pregnant women. I like it here, just a short cab ride away from my old life of LP and Wrigleyville and all that jazz, but it is different from day-to-day. Quaint. It is a place I want to live one day with a wife and kid and dog and yard and white picket fence and all that. Regardless, it was a major change for me, a necessary one, one that most of our sports teams in Chicago need as well.

The off-season is the time for our team's greatest changes. With free agency dominating our major sports, change is inevitable. Some of our GM's make good off-season free agent signings--Marian Hossa and maybe Ted Lilly come to mind from the recent past--but our GM's, in this city at least, have a tendency to fuck shit up. Cubs GM Jim Hendry is a renowned off-season fuck up artist--the contracts to Kosuke Fukudome, Alfonso Soriano and Milton Bradley, to name a few, have left the Cubs pretty cap tied. The Bears = fucked. With no money (i.e. free agents) or draft picks the Bears are perpetually screwed. The Blackhawks literally cap tied themselves by not filing papers on time. Probably near the top of most embarrassing things to happen in sports since the Bulls every year. And as for Kenny Williams, I feel like there is no bigger craps player in the world. He just rolls the dice and... you never really know what the outcome is going to be. In that vein, let's take a look at the one sport that is in its off-season and the moves that help define our baseball GM's, Jim Hendry and Kenny Williams.

THE CHICAGO CUBS OFF-SEASON

This was probably your typical, "fuck the heck" off-season for Hendry. His two "big" signings this winter have been Marlon Byrd and John Grabow, both of which he grossly overpaid for... FUCK. Did I mention he got Carlos Silva and his 900.00 ERA (a little exaggerated) in return for Milton Bradley and his unpaid lease? Yep. That happened. On the slight plus, he did get a decent amount of money in return. He also got Jeff Gray from the A's, but he like strikes out nobody and that is never good when you're in the pen. This is typical Hendry--sign good talent for WAY more then they are worth, locking the Cubs into salary death for years to come, while trading away some salary for little in return. I feel like he's going to take early retirement and planning to get the fuck out before all this blows up in his triple-chin.

 I'm fat.

Hendry claimed he will sign two more players before the winter is over, probably a fourth outfielder in either Xavier Nady or Jermaine Dye and a relief pitcher, possibly Kiko Calero. These two signing make a lot of sense and would be good role players to have with an aging outfield and a bullpen lacking proven talent. If he can get those deals done, maybe, and I mean maybe, he can salvage some sort of decent off-season. I HATE THAT I LIKE THE CUBS.

THE CHICAGO WHITE SOX OFF-SEASON

The White Sox lost a lot of aging offense in Dye and Jim Thome, but have done some interesting things, signing or trading for numerous former stars--Juan Pierre, Omar Vizquel, Andruw Jones, Mark Kotsay, Freddy Garcia and J.J. Putz--hoping to get that one last ounce of good out of them before they are put to baseball death. OR Kenny is permanently stuck in a game of MLB 2K3. Either way, he did a lot. Is it all good? Probably not. But if two of those players can put up numbers somewhat similar to their heyday then I would say that is a win for Mr. Williams. He got all of them for pretty cheap, so all in all, these rolls of the dice are not bad, especially on a guy like Vizquel who will backup three positions at above average to good ratings. Ricky already covered Pierre, so why go there? Instead I rather look at the two pitchers, Putz and Garcia, briefly as they have a chance to have the biggest impacts, in my opinion at least.

I'm fat.

The Sox had trouble at times last year getting to closer Bobby Jenks, who struggled as well. The pen stumbled and fumbled a bit posting a mediocre 4.06 ERA and bad 1.46 WHIP (I don't want to get too nerdy here). Putz, a former closer, has good stuff and can be that reliable 7th/8th inning guy that can bridge the gap and if Jenks struggles or (when he) gets hurt can be used as an emergency closer. I really like this signing for Kenny.

Garcia also has a chance to play a major factor with the Sox. If he can have any success at all as an end of the rotation starter, the Sox will have one of the best and deepest rotations in the AL. If Garcia has success again, he could be that Jason Marquis-type 5th starter like the Cubs had in 2008. Good, not great, but probably one of the top number five guys in the league. A very scary thought for a VERY weak AL Central. But that is a big IF. Still, a good, and most importantly, cheap signing for the Sox.

And now this: