Dubs Dread: The one where I make fun of Ricky (again) and explain why I am a douche (again)

by Friends of the Program on December 15 at 2:16AM

BY DUBS

I don't mind that the Hawks don't get as much media coverage as they should. Even when Ricky was at FCP his hockey post got about five comments anytime names like Hossa, Keith or Toews received any eyeball time. For me, the reason for my indifference to hockey coverage in Chicago is completely selfish and self-serving--I like the fact that I'm in the relative minority when it comes to supporting hockey in the Windy City. The vast majority seem to just ignore them, which is fine, especially for me, as a sports douche.

Can you tell me who this is, Chicago?

As I have mentioned before, I'm a Cubs, Bears, Irish and Tar Heel fan. If I liked the Cowboys and/or Yankees too, I think crowning my ass 'Dubs, King of the Sports Douches' would be fitting. As it is I am no less than a 'Duke of Douche' in sports (and life--just ask Ricky). The Blackhawks are kind of the one thing that makes me somewhat cool. Everyone agrees that hockey is badass, therefore the fact that I follow a real-life hockey team pretty religiously and WEAR A MOTHER-FUCKING-BLACKHAWKS HAT daily, makes me at least 30% less douchey. And I'll take it.

I am instantly a fan of something that is NOT completely appreciated. I am underground. I am, at least during the winter, a sports hipster--arm tats and cutter girlfriend included. The Blackhawks are to me what some random Indie band is to Ricky--"Oh, you're going to the bar. Well, I'm seeing Margot on New Years, Dubs. You're such a cliché." And like with my hat, Ricky's zip-up hoody and skinny jeans, help define him and make him somewhat, in relative terms of course, cool. That is how I feel as a Hawks fan, at least for now.

I'm ironic.

***

Other things:

I try not to read any columnist in the two Chicago papers on purpose. I consistently find myself cringing at least twice when I read one of their bad similes, metaphors, over-the-top hyperbole or some sad attempt at humor. However, the other day I found myself grabbing the Trib, wanting to get other opinions on the whole Brian Kelly hire. I mistakenly began reading David Haugh and he did something that made me question why papers even still exist--he supported his own point by quoting himself--a horribly conceived, at best cheesy and frankly racist zinger from eight years before... about a different coach... who got canned two weeks later:

"I wrote in the South Bend Tribune that day that [George] O'Leary's football background and Irish-Catholic heritage fit so well at the university that "it was surprising they didn't hand out free corned beef and cabbage at the door." Eight years later, the same could be written after Kelly's introduction."

I am again resigned to never read the sports section.

*

I went on this thing called the Santa Pub Crawl on Saturday. Basically, it is 60 Santas dressed in various themed Santa outfits--from Jewish Santa to Kid Rock Santa to Rosta' Santa--complete with bagpipes and boatloads of alcohol. We were quite the shitshow, walking down Michigan Avenue, through Nordstrom, Maggiano's and of course hitting all the bars we ran into along the way. It was, to say the least, EPIC in almost every detail. I am sure I will post some video of this down the road. God, I love booze.

*
I started to read Will's Life as a Loser columns the other day. It is very good and I suggest you check it out. We had a quick email exchange about it. He was very cordial and, for whatever reason, he still says things like, "I'm honored" when I told him it was really well done and very relatable. Will Leitch is way too nice.

*

And because I can. A video of a band from Europe. Ricky would be so proud:

Dubs writes weekly for TUP. He is the former former editor of SlowBreaker.

4 Comments | Leave a comment

Wheels | December 16, 2009 8:13 AM | Reply

Dubs, i contest your argument. The blackhawks have blown up son! That's Dirk Graham in that picture at the top, right?

Dubs replied to comment from Wheels | December 16, 2009 11:32 AM | Reply

Don't sully the name of my mustachioed hero!

BobbyStompy | December 18, 2009 12:53 AM | Reply

Great column.

And I'll take the bait on those Leitch archives...

Dubs replied to comment from BobbyStompy | December 18, 2009 11:00 AM | Reply

Thanks Bobby.

Dubs Dread: The one where I make fun of Ricky (again) and explain why I am a douche (again)

4 Comments | Leave a comment

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