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Dubs Dread: Blackhawks, Alcoholism, Stats and Prediction of Fightsby Friends of the Program on December 23 at 2:30AM
BY DUBS I have always been the go-to-guy when someone needs to go out to get drunk. Just broke up with your girlfriend? Lost your job? Parking ticket? Cashmere Pulaski Day? I'm your man. I will take you out, introduce you to some very nice bartenders--sadly, I'm way too friendly with quite a few--and guarantee that you will forget whatever it is you're trying to. Free drinks and, if you play your cards right, possibly a girl are in your immediate future. And in that dependable, border-line alcoholic fun that I can almost guarantee (unless I go to the dark-side), so to have the Blackhawks when it comes to winning at the UC. They are a ridiculous 16-3-1 at the Madhouse on Madison. The 16 wins leads the NHL--the paltry 71 goals they have given up this season does as well--this includes four shutouts at home, three in the last four games. They have won 13 of their last 14 games in Chicago. This type of play brings back fond memories of Roenick and Chelios and Belfour.  In a lot of ways this team is probably even better than those teams from my childhood, especially at the defensive end. They limit chances by basically playing 60 minutes of keep away. It is a thing of beauty to watch--the puck control and battles on the boards they seem to win every time. They basically don't allow teams to get the puck on net. In their last four games alone the Hawks have out-shot their opponents by 49 shots. That's a deficit of over 12 a game. That is insane.  This team is quickly becoming scary good and the league knows it. In each of the last few games, the opposing team has been doing its damnedest to, at best, "play rough" and, at worst, instigate fights. They want the Hawks to know that their climb to the Western Conference lead will not go without a battle. Sunday night's game against the Red Wings was a good example of just that. Some late shots, especially on Toews, and shoving took place and because of that I would not be surprised if the Blackhawks' patience for these actions finally ends and a ruckus of some grand measures takes place Wednesday night when they face off against Detroit again. That would be fun to watch and a guaranteed good time, especially if you're with me... drunk at a bar. *** Other Things: After some online name generating fun my Jersey Shore nickname is officially "Z-Train". I still prefer "The Situation", but Z-Train will do. * I've been contemplating getting a serious drug problem. I feel I would become at least 40% better received with what I put on computer screens with the street cred of a serious drug problem. * David Haugh continues to write dumb shit. This officially is my new section "David Haugh is a Dumb Asshole". The only problem will be that I have to read him everyday. Here we go: David Haugh is a Dumb Asshole  Yeah. So this week my friend David suggested, nay, demanded that it would be a downright mistake if the Irish didn't join the Big Ten. Wax that shit, David: In a way, [Irish AD Jack] Swarbrick sounded like the guy everyone knows who doesn't have an e-mail address because he hasn't yet embraced the Internet. The world has changed dramatically since 1999, the last time Notre Dame seriously discussed the pros and cons of Big Ten affiliation. Douche. Anyway, his argument is basically that Notre Dame wont join because of the idea of what ND "was" and all that tradition and shit. No, you fuck, it is, and will always be about dolla' dolla' billz. If you are part of a conference, you must share your profits. The Irish do not. They get to keep ALL OF IT. Every single NBC-contract, sellout-crowd dime of it. $$$ is everything--better facilities. Better coaches. Better recruits. Well, in theory, at least. Furthermore, he pretty much lies here: A key thing Notre Dame must consider: Realistically, the Irish could gain easier access to the Bowl Championship Series games as a member of the Big Ten than as an independent. No. That is also wrong. A nine win independent Irish team has (TWICE!!!), and very well may again make a BCS game. That is very HARD to do as a Big Ten member as most voters will go with the SEC, and in certain circumstances, the Big Twelve way before a nine win Big 10 team. For fuck sake, a ten win Penn State team is looking from the outside in. ND is almost guaranteed a BCS game in they reach the ten win plateau (must finish in top 8 and be ranked higher than a conference champion). SO fuck you David Haugh. Right in the ear. One more things: Besides, Big Ten affiliation would generate even more TV revenue for the university. Hey, David. Did you know that Fox Cable Networks owns 49% of the Big Ten Network. Are you SURE and I mean POSITIVE, that statement above is correct. I am not sure either way, therefore I wont make a claim like that without hard data. But you did. And that is cool, I guess. See you next week. Dubs is the former editor of SlowBreaker. |
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I sent Haugh the following email, which is similar to a post I submitted to FCP awhile back:
David:
You couldn't be more wrong with your suggestion that Notre Dame join the Big Ten, and here are the reasons:
A: In the Big Ten (as in any conference) the teams have to split the revenue. Notre Dame gets to keep every penny they earn from their exclusive TV contract. More money means better facilities, and bigger contracts for coaches and other personnel.
B: You stated that Notre Dame would have a better shot at a BCS game if they were in the Big Ten. That's nonsense, as evidenced by a 10 win Penn State team not getting an invite to the dance. If Notre Dame had Penn States Record and didn't get to play in the BSC championship series, the world as we know it would come to an abrupt halt.
Why do you think Brian Kelly left an undefeated program for that reclamation project in South Bend? It's because he knew that he would never, EVER get a chance to play for the championship in Cincy, in the only game that really matters. It's that simple.
To drive this point home, do you honestly think if Notre Dame had gone undefeated against the very same schedule that the Bearcats played this year, that they would not be playing for all the marbles? You know better than that. If that ever happened the BCS headquarters would be burned to the ground, and we'd finally have a playoff system implemented.
The fact of the matter is that the Fighting Irish could run the table against a field of teams that included The Little Sisters Of The Poor, The Royal Academy For The Blind, and a pick-up team playing on crutches and in wheelchairs. They'd still rank at or near the top.
You know that too.
AGREED.
Even thought the Hawks lost last night (I wrote the column on Monday), they still out-shot the Sharks 47-14. 47-14!!!!! This loss was a fluke.
Merry X-Mas.