The Hybrid: Lift Off, or, Is It Week 5 Already?

The year was 2007, America was still trying to figure out how to survive in a pre-Twitter world, and I wrote a weekly college football column for TUP called Big Ten Rambler.

I was going to say the column had a lot of lows and highs, but I really only remember one of each. The first: I referred to Appy State as an "unqualified check casher" one day before they cut off Michigan's head in the Big House. Oh boy. The second: I called Iowa over Illinois during a super down year for Iowa and an "up" year for Illinois where they made the Rose Bowl despite being third in the conference... I hate everybody.

Anyway, we're going to try to bring back shades of the BTR column with this new feature, The Hybrid. I'm calling it The Hybrid because it's a hybrid of the old Big Ten stuff with a new national scope, it's environmentally sound, I've always loved the DE/LB hybrid position, and it's kinda stupid and funny (UPDATE: Also, Linkin Park had that one record called "Hybrid Theory"... though that's probably a huge strike against the name).

This should run weekly -- except on Thursd'y instead of Frid'y (Southern pronunciation).

To review my biases: I went to Iowa, grew up rooting for Michigan and Washington State. I pretty much like everything about college football except SEC Elitism, undeserving teams ranked way too high, Jim Tressell (the owner of my soul), random players which sometimes get me to hate random teams, and Notre Dame. So now that that's out of the way...

ooooooooOOOOOHHHHH (trying to simulate the sound the crowd makes before the kicker drills the ball to start a game...probably failing). Should I have called the column "ooooooooOOOOOHHHHH"? Possibly. Hell, if anything it would have stood out.

Quick, Selective Hits On The AP Top 25

1) Florida: Be careful what you wish for with the Tebow injury. I'm sure at least some haters felt bad to see him motionless on the turf like that. Even worse, it'll just get him more media coverage. Note to self: add a Dan Shanoff section later where we make fun of him weekly. I still say Florida's Top 5 but not No. 1.

2) Texas: After a brutal hatred of Vince Young's national title team, I've really come around on Texas as of late. I think it's extremely possible Colt McCoy leaves college football as an underrated player.

3) Alabama: Yes, they're good, but it's just not the same without JPW.

4) LSU: This team evokes nothing. Them being ranked fourth nationally is a crime.

5) Boise State: The blogosphere's backlash on BSU's schedule weaknesses only makes me like them more. God, I hope they ruin everything, though it's unlikely.

6) Virginia Tech: Thanks for ruining The U resurgence, dickheads.

7) USC: The one thing that got me through the Michigan/Iowa futility of my college years was getting behind USC. But lately they just make me sad. While it seems both the Trojans and Florida clean up on the recruiting front, Florida recruits system guys while USC just recruits really good guys. Kinda like a "hey, five stars, we'll take him!" video game method. But this is real life, and they keep losing stupid Pac 10 road games. Sanchez leaving really screwed up everything.

8) Oklahoma: Get well, Sam Bradford. The (former) absolute best team to watch from an offensive standpoint if you have no rooting interest outside of anyone-but-Florida.

9) Ohio State: Boring in the USC way where they have enough talent in the trenches to pummel crappy teams but don't necessarily have enough talent across the board from the skill positions -- particularly QB -- to consistently win big games.

10) Cincinnati: A nice and trendy bandwagon pick, but I'm waiting to see more from them.

11) TCU: LDT -- I drafted you seventh in fantasy this year, and I have never regretted a fantasy pick more in my life. Doubled with the fact that I already hated you. Fantasy football sucks.

12) Houston: Alma mater of former Patriots RB Antwan Smith, the perpetual "three boring yards and that's it" running back. Though they  won more Super Bowls with him than any other starting running back in the Brady-era.

13) Iowa: They're not Top-15 good. Are they Top-15 good?!

14) Oklahoma State: Heartbreaking to see Gundy's team trip up like that a few weeks ago.
 
15) Penn State: In no way deserves to be ranked.

16) Oregon: Thrashing of Cal just leaves me thinking about what could have been.

17) Miami FL: Well, that was fun while it lasted.

18) Kansas
18) Georgia
20) Brigham Young

21) Mississippi: Should. Not. Be. Ranked. ESS. EEE. SEE.

22) Michigan: Hope springs eternal.

23) Nebraska

24) California: God, you suck. USC opens the door for you constantly and you do nothing but find ways to f it up.

25) Georgia Tech: Really took a liking to this team until they lost to Miami. Wishbone, do I doubt thee?

Any Sweet Games This Weekend?

I'm mostly biding my time until Michigan-Iowa/Florida-LSU next week. Everybody's sayin' OU-Miami should be cool, but Miami lost last week and sort of ruined everything. USC-Cal is overblown but potentially telegenic.

Big Ten Rant

God, the conference sucks this year. Why is Illinois so bad? Can someone explain this to me? I've really only seen the highlights, but I just don't understand it. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect them to contend for the Big Ten title, but man, super, super awful.

College Football Bandwagon

Every year, once my actual favorite teams have been eliminated from the national title picture (by, you know, losing just one game), my buddy Ryan and I create what we call the "College Football Bandwagon" which mostly consists of a list of all the undefeated BCS conference teams minus Notre Dame (and this year, Florida). The goal of the CFB is to fake feel good about yourself when your "team" makes the national championship. Plus it gives you invested rooting interests.

College Football Bandwagon 2009
N/A -- We're still rolling this year with Iowa and Michigan still undefeated. Though one of them has a guaranteed loss next week.

Dan Shanoff

I'm a long time reader of Shanoff, he's probably in my Top 25 online sportswriters, and he's usually the first thing I read every morning, but as a national columnist, his Florida bias has gotten out of control in recent years (most notably acknowledging no case for Michigan to play for the national title in '06 and creating TimTeblog.com in '09). We'll use this space to make fun of him when he says insane UF stuff which usually happens weekly.

This week, he actually said:

"Tim Tebow, the biggest superstar in the history of college football, suffered a brutal concussion, seemingly putting his season into jeopardy -- and fans into hysterics."

But it wasn't without a price, commenter "thebisondude" has had enough! (emphasis mine):

I am officially done with Dan Shanoff!  Calling Tim Tebow the "the biggest superstar in the history of college football" is seriously the most laughable statement you have ever made and shows that you are too "Florida-centric" for a national column. For those of us who don't bleed Gatorade, Tebow is simply another very good college football play[er].  To say that he was a bigger superstar then Red Grange, the Four Horsemen and other athletes who ruled ALL of football (as college was bigger than the pros up until 1958) shows how little historical perspective you really have.  Trust me, for those of us outside of Florida or who do not have a Florida degree in my household, we do not worship at the feet of Tebow.  Herschel Walker was bigger than Tebow in his day!!!  I realize you said that because of the anti-Tebow postings that you had on Thursday and it was your answer to it, but you have lost one reader! I now know why you got fired from ESPN! Later Sporting News!

Ouch.

Great Thoughts -- A Take On Others' CFB Takes

- My everlasting impression of the Tebow hit was the headline I read on WithLeather: "TIM TEBOW GOT HIS BRAIN CIRCUMSIZED"

Random Picture I Came Across While Google-ing For This Post



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And while most blogs seem have the habit of starting features and either quitting or simply getting infrequent over time, I promise this one will get better. It's been a bizzay week. But yeah, trust me. My body of work speaks for itself....right?....right????