Kyle Orton just wins, baby
Does anybody else out there kind of miss Kyle Orton? Not his abilities, of course. I'm very glad the Bears now have a quarterback who can complete a pass over 20 yards and all. But it's rare that a player leaves the Bears and I still find myself rooting for him. Cedric Benson? Burn in hell. Players like Muhsin Muhammad might not even exist, for all I care.
For whatever reason, though, I still care about Orton. He's my No. 3 rooting interest every Sunday behind the Bears and the players on my fantasy team. I want Orton to do well in Denver. I wouldn't mind seeing the Broncos do well either, to be honest. Would having Jay Cutler really be more satisfying if the trade that brought him here went down as one of the greatest heists of all-time? I don't think so. Jay Cutler is satisfying enough in and of himself. I don't see any reason to root for Denver to flounder in obscurity for the next 10 years in some type of Cutler-related haze.
Maybe I wouldn't feel the same way if the Bears traded Adewale Ogunleye to get Cutler, though. I just find Orton undeniably likable. He was the perfect Bears quarterback: from the Midwest, gave it his all despite being marginally talented, generally unkempt, probably drunk. Could you ever image Orton posing for pictures like the ones Cutler did for Michigan Ave. Magazine a few weeks back?
Of course not. Orton doesn't own an electrical razor or a shirt without whiskey stains on it.
Perhaps what I like the most is that, at least to my knowledge, Orton has never commented or apologized for all those hilarious pictures of him on the Internet. These days, if an athlete makes a mistake, no matter how small, we're getting a swift apology. Look no further than Derrick Rose this offseason telling the world he used "extremely poor judgment" when he was photographed in a smokey room flashing gang signs. If Rose apologized for that picture just hours after the it went mainstream, you would think Orton may want to issue an apology for this.
Just kidding, this one is my favorite. Forget girls, Kyle Orton just wants to dance.
But there has never been an apology. Because, whatever man, Kyle Orton likes to party. Is that really a crime?
Orton has been decidedly Orton-esque in leading Denver to a 3-0 start. He's managing the living hell out of that offense right now: he's 27th in the NFL in completion percentage (55%) and 15th in passing yards. But, somehow, the Broncos are 3-0. An anomaly to some, but no big deal for Orton. His record as a starter right now is 22-12. Tony Romo would kill a man for that type of winning percentage. Kyle Orton does it hung over. What a guy.
Finally, here's a video tribute to Orton featuring some of his greatest moments. Warning: includes 'Free Bird'.
Never change, man. Never change.