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Kyle Orton just wins, baby

by Ricky O'Donnell on September 29, 2009 at 12:07PM


Does anybody else out there kind of miss Kyle Orton? Not his abilities, of course. I'm very glad the Bears now have a quarterback who can complete a pass over 20 yards and all. But it's rare that a player leaves the Bears and I still find myself rooting for him. Cedric Benson? Burn in hell. Players like Muhsin Muhammad might not even exist, for all I care.

For whatever reason, though, I still care about Orton. He's my No. 3 rooting interest every Sunday behind the Bears and the players on my fantasy team. I want Orton to do well in Denver. I wouldn't mind seeing the Broncos do well either, to be honest. Would having Jay Cutler really be more satisfying if the trade that brought him here went down as one of the greatest heists of all-time? I don't think so. Jay Cutler is satisfying enough in and of himself. I don't see any reason to root for Denver to flounder in obscurity for the next 10 years in some type of Cutler-related haze.

Maybe I wouldn't feel the same way if the Bears traded Adewale Ogunleye to get Cutler, though. I just find Orton undeniably likable. He was the perfect Bears quarterback: from the Midwest, gave it his all despite being marginally talented, generally unkempt, probably drunk. Could you ever image Orton posing for pictures like the ones Cutler did for Michigan Ave. Magazine a few weeks back?

http://www.tremendousupsidepotential.com/img/jay-cutler-michigan-ave-magazine.jpg
Of course not. Orton doesn't own an electrical razor or a shirt without whiskey stains on it.

Perhaps what I like the most is that, at least to my knowledge, Orton has never commented or apologized for all those hilarious pictures of him on the Internet. These days, if an athlete makes a mistake, no matter how small, we're getting a swift apology. Look no further than Derrick Rose this offseason telling the world he used "extremely poor judgment" when he was photographed in a smokey room flashing gang signs. If Rose apologized for that picture just hours after the it went mainstream, you would think Orton may want to issue an apology for this.

http://www.tremendousupsidepotential.com/img/kyle_orton_chicago_bears_3_drunk_pictures1.jpg
Or this.
ortonbottle.jpg
Or this.

http://www.tremendousupsidepotential.com/img/ORTONFAV.jpg
Just kidding, this one is my favorite. Forget girls, Kyle Orton just wants to dance.

But there has never been an apology. Because, whatever man, Kyle Orton likes to party. Is that really a crime?

Orton has been decidedly Orton-esque in leading Denver to a 3-0 start. He's managing the living hell out of that offense right now: he's 27th in the NFL in completion percentage (55%) and 15th in passing yards. But, somehow, the Broncos are 3-0. An anomaly to some, but no big deal for Orton. His record as a starter right now is 22-12. Tony Romo would kill a man for that type of winning percentage. Kyle Orton does it hung over. What a guy.

Finally, here's a video tribute to Orton featuring some of his greatest moments. Warning: includes 'Free Bird'.


Never change, man. Never change.






10 Comments | Leave a comment



I can't believe I'm reading this....

Wanna know why Kyle Orton has never issued an apology for photos? Nobody gives a fuck about untalented people.

Wanna know why I hate Kyle Orton so much? He wasted years of my life on watching a QB who struggled to complete a pass beyond 10 yards.

People seem to forget that he was booed off the field right after an 8-game win streak in 05 because he sucked so bad.

Denver has played 3 mediocre - awful teams and should have lost to Cincinnati, let's not go suckin his dick just yet.

is that rowand next to him at the 1:11 mark?

also, dont know if you heard the bradley for rowand trade rumors. probly wont happen, but that would be one of the worst things that could ever happen to me

Yeah I hate people who suck and are limited at the job they are supposed to do well at.

I was really hoping your comment name was meant to be Bob Sakamoto and you were just misspelling it. But after some precautionary googling, I realized that it's a Seinfeld reference which is obviously over my head.

Anyway, a) yes, that is Rowand, though whenever I see that picture I wonder if it's photoshopped, and b) YES I have heard those rumors; they are nuts. I doubt it happens, though I assume Bradley's going to whatever team will take him. I just want the Cubs to eat the rest of that contract, which is over $20 million.

And Scott, I love Orton the way you love Darius Miles (note: I also love Darius Miles). Same thing.

Hey Bob, did you get invited to Kramers party?

yeah, but i got a shipment of wizard tip calculators that are gonna fall off the back of a truck the same night...So I gotta take care of that

Those aren't wizards, there willards.

Heres a little nugget for ya

Hester through 3 games with cutler
13-187-2
Royal through 3 games with cutler
18-192-2

Hester through 3 games with orton
2-13-0
Royal through 3 games with orton
6-42-0

good work david haugh

Hey Scott. Your an idiot. If ben roethisberger is elite because he so called wins games, then orton is on the right path. I dont believe in counting it as a stat for an individual player but if people think ben roebo is elite then... Orton is now 28-13 all time and is 19-2 at home. Im a denver fan and i did like cutler a lot. I dont believe orton would be winning games without this defense. but orton makes the plays NO ONE gives credit for. 9 tds. isnt amazing, however its not bad. 1 int. is AMAZING in 7 games. AND THAT 1 INT. was a hail mary at the end of the half. Sometimes the best play is not making the bad play...ever. Hes a manager, hes doing great in denver, its a whole new offense and they are still building chemistry. Just wait, denver is doing well and IS a ticking time bomb. their offense IS better than what they are doing right now.

Perhaps this is one of the most interesting blogs that I have ever seen. Interesting article, Funny comment. Keep it up!


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