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Quarterback hate, and a tidy Bears-Steelers previewby Ricky O'Donnell on September 18, 2009 at 3:00AM
A few things. 1. Worry not: we seem to have pinpointed the real problem with Jay Cutler. His face!  And people say newspapers are dying. Ha! Could something dying ever be so funny? I think not. If you don't think I'm going to make and start selling a "Jay Face" t-shirt - with a silhouette of a doughy 'Bama Bang'd man frowning - you just don't know me very well. If "Jay Face" isn't profitable, nothing is. Ain't that right, Phil?  Rivers' poor impression of Jay Face.2. In 2006, reporter Stephan Fatsis went undercover as kicker at Broncos training camp for the book "Five Seconds of Panic". While he was there, Cutler - then a rookie - wasn't very nice to him. Proof: "The times we went out, a couple of nights, it was just the three of us, and Jay was perfectly sociable and very reasonable," he said. "There were a lot of times he was dismissive, with the eye-rolling, and him making fun of me."Cutler would make fun of you!? Get out! Why would anyone do such a thing? Well... a)You were the last string kicker. b) You were 43 years old. c) You look like this.  In case you're wondering, yes, we're two losses and approximately five interceptions away from a "Leave Jay Cutler Alone" video. I see no downside here. * Drew asks a question that's been on my mind for a while. Also, why is Ben Roethlisberger incapable of playing well until there are only two goddamn minutes left in any given half?Ben Roethlisberger: the worst good quarterback in the NFL. Step aside, Eli Manning! Seriously, Roethlisberger kind of sucks. Don't let those two silly Super Bowl rings get in the way of the cold, hard facts. - Roethlisberger has had one good season ever, in 2007. The year before that, in '06? 18 touchdowns, 23 interceptions, and a QB Rating of 75. Last year? 17 touchdowns, 15 interceptions, a QB Rating of 80. Face it: Roethlisberger = a rich man's Grossman. Don't even try to twist that as a compliment. * Now that Nathan Vasher has taken his rightful seat on the bench, I don't expect Big Ben to torch the Bears. I don't expect the Bears to win, either, but I think they have a decent chance. As sucky as it is to be without Urlacher, it's about 3x suckier for Pittsburgh to be without Troy Polamalu, who was swiftly Madden Curse'd in Week 1. I think Polamalu could be the best defensive player in the league. The Steeler D is still very good without him, but it's not nearly the same. The Bears' defense should be able to keep Pittsburgh at around 20 points. Even without Polamalu, three touchdowns against the Steelers is tricky. Possible, but tricky. Out of the Bears this week, I'm looking for a big play by the defense. That means you, Zack Bowman. Time to live up to the hype. I expect a heavy dose of Devin Hester as well, whether at receiver or in the return game. If the Steelers D has a weak spot, it's the secondary. A few bombs could go a long way this week. |
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1) Are Ed Reed and Troy Polamalu not already 1/2 or 2/1 for the best safeties ever. No one else even comes to mind (yes, I know how short-sighted that sounds and probably is -- I just don't know anybody that touches 'em).
2) I'm not being pessimistic, but it really seems like the Bears D is built for a bullshit Steelers win. They're aggressive/wow!/good at times, but often get too cover 2-y and susceptible to late drives in the game where you're all like "we're so susceptible!"
Meanwhile, shitty Roethlisberger gets his bro on and one backwards hat later, the Steelers walk off the field with another bullshit win. God, they suck. Actually no, they're just average. They're 15. The Steelers are 15.
....I hate baseball.
Bobby, if that was a "How I Met Your Mother" reference. Brava!
Ricky, I can't believe you are talking shit about Big Ben. He always rapes the competition when it matters and always gets off smelling like roses... or vodka and sweat. I forget which one.
"Have you ever seen Ed Reed rip off a finger mid-game?" -- Ronnie Lott.
Dubs, I don't really watch that show, what did I accidentally reference?
You see, on the show when there is a girl that is a borderline bang-able girl or average looking, they call her a 15... of the black jack fame, as in, "I'm not sure I would hit that."
So by calling the Steelers a 15, you would, in turn, be calling them average. However, I missed your reference, so I may need an explanation as well.
I don't mind that. So we'll go with that. That's what I meant.
(Originally, I meant 15 out of 32 in terms of NFL teams)
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Hah! I bet some people can't recognize their foolish faces when they see the pictures afterwards.