The Official TUP 2009 NFL Draft Liveblog

Ohhhhh yes. We're gonna liveblog this sumbitch.

First things first: a slightly funny picture of Stafford.

More sexiness (after the jump)...
As usual, all times are Central. As usual, I wish it was Mountain.

5:29PM - The Pats are on the clock, and I'm as stoked as I've been today. I'm preparing myself for a "whaa?" a "huh?" and maybe a "zuh?!"

5:31PM - Herm Edwards tries to talk about the Percy Harvin to Minnesota (No. 23) using several confusing car metaphors. I wish he'd be on this more.

5:35PM - The Pats trade to Baltimore (of course). This elicits a "duh" from me. B-More takes Michael Oher with the pick. With an incredible life story, he seems to be everybody's favorite prospect from a personality standpoint. He's actually in New York for the draft... I'm wondering if he's the last invitee still around. I think he is, but that'd be surprising... because, you know, ESPN is usually all "OHNO HE DINT GET PICKED YET!!!!"

Haha, Brady Quinn.

5:37PM - "Baltimore just got a great player," says Michael Oher himself. "..the NFL's not gonna be hard for me."

"I could have went in the seventh round," he continues, "when I get in, I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna play 10-plus years."

He's so cool.

5:39PM - "That's a top five interview right there," Steve Young proclaims. "...that's inspiring."

5:50PM - Pats on the clock again. Bleh.

5:53PM - Wendi Nix is with the Pats and says they're trying to trade out of the 26th pick.

5:54PM - And they do just that.

5:54PM - ...to the Packers?! Aw. BOOOOO.

5:55PM - "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith plays in the background. Packers on the clock. This sucks.

5:55PM - And the Packers take USC LB Clay Matthews with the pick. From Southern Cal to crappy Wisconsin. He's smiling but has to be crying on the inside. Oh, and him and A.J. Hawk kind of look the same.

5:58PM - Members of the armed forces inexplicably come on the stage. Everybody's going nuts, and some sort of song is playing. "I feel like we're at a NASCAR event," Ryan says.

6:00PM - ESPN cuts to UConn RB Donald Brown's house. He's pretty excited. And, per the usual, ESPN has tipped the pick. Brown to the Colts. Book it.

6:01PM - "Joseph Addai is crying somewhere," I say.

"Mike Hart, too," Ryan adds.

6:12PM - I know Peter King has addressed this, but I agree, too: why, on earth, would you ever take a non-Adrian Peterson running back in the first round? They could get hurt at any time, and you see undrafted RBs come into the league and succeed on a season to season basis. It just seems like the waste of a pick.

6:16PM - Are the Titans considering Beanie Wells with the 30th pick? With the running game they already have, that just seems excessive. Though, if you're their front office, you can always just throw up your arms and say "best player available!" It's like it absolves you of all criticism.

6:21PM - The Titans grab Rutgers WR Kenny Britt... and I add another to the body count of wideouts the Bears won't be drafting.

6:25PM - The White Sox, aiming to the the first Chicago team to win a game in, oh, I don't know, FOUR DAYS, kicked it off against the Jays a handful of minutes ago. 0-0, Top 1... and the ESPN Gamecast Projected Winner is White Sox with a whopping 59%. So far, so good.

6:32PM - Beanie Wells to the Cardinals. Very cool pick. Already fascinated by what his contributions to that offense could be.

6:34PM - The Steelers take that DT from Mizzou (Ziggy Hood) whose highlights* are just incredible. "Best name in the draft," Ryan decrees.

* - highlights primarily against Northwestern and Illinois

6:35PM - The Lions draft safety Louis Delmas from Western Michigan (we've got a local boy!) with the first pick in the 2nd round. "Another chance to a make a big splash and they just fail," Ryan says.

"That's all Millen ever did with the wide receivers, and it never ever worked!" I respond.

"But it got them tons of media exposure!" Ryan fires back.

Touche.

6:41PM - "I forgot that Brian Leonard was the Rams' second string running back," Ryan says.

"So, who is that?" I ask.

"All I know is that he's white and that's what makes it funny."

Tou-che.

6:43PM - After the classic Coors Light Jim Mora commercial, this round of commercials pulls a solid back-to-back with the immaculate Patrick Chewing spot. It never stops being funny.

6:47PM - Brian Robiskie (WR, Ohio State) to the Browns! This means it's physically impossible for the Bears to draft him with their second round pick. The football gods are smiling upon us today, my friends.

I've also really started to lean on the idea that Jerry isn't going to take a WR with the pick. We're less than ten spots away, and very few safeties have come off the board. You've gotta think if some of the marquee guys are still there, the Bears will have to at least think about addressing that position firs.

6:54PM - Sox-Jays tied 2-2 in the Bottom of the 2nd, but the PW has gone down to 58%. A 1% loss?! Man.

6:57PM - Should have mentioned, the 2nd round (and the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th... and 7th) features a scaled up betting system where each pick, you can guess offense or defense, double down with what "core" of the unit you're talking about (i.e. LBs, DBs, OLs), then you can specify position, then, finally, player.

ex:
Defense, Linebacker, Middle Linebacker, Rey Maualaga

or just:
Offense

Basically, the more you bet, the more you have a chance to win (high stakes), but if you miss any part of the bet, it voids the entire thing. This whole concept should do nothing but make the awesome draft more awesome.

So, yeah, I think I'm gonna go gamble. I guess I'll come back if anything funny happens.

7:08PM - Oh wait! I totally forgot the Bears are picking semi-soon... I'll stick around at least until then.

7:45PM - ...and by "stick around," I mean, "leave the live blog until they're on the clock."

Apparently, they're picking at 49 and not 45. This explains why it took forever.

7:47PM - Annnnnd Jerry trades the pick to Seattle!

7:47PM - It's weird to spend so much time thinking about something that doesn't even end up happening. In that regard, the NFL Draft is a lot like lost love.

7:48PM - Still awaiting deets on the Seattle trade. Truth be told, the ignorant fan in me was hoping the Bears would take Derrick Williams. This is because I am stupid.

7:51PM - We'll have a busy day tomorrow as the Bears nabbed 3rd and 4th round picks from Seattle. Not thinking into it too hard, I have to say I approve of this trade. All the prospects are kind of running together at this point, you're lacking picks from the Cutler trade, so why not load up for the next two rounds?

8:11PM - It's come to my attention the Bears do not have a pick until tomorrow. It almost makes me feel like liveblogging Rounds 1 and 2 on a "Chicago sports blog." was a pretty big waste. So that sucked.

8:13PM - Sox are up big with a 99% to win and the Hawks have already gotten started, so I think I'll be calling this now.

Hope everybody enjoyed the first round. If you were a Bears fan, it was hard to get mad about much of anything.