Your extended Tuesday roundup, now in numeric form

1. I hate Twitter for two reasons. My Online Journalism teacher makes us tweet five times a day, and I'm simply not interesting enough to do that. Imagine having to come up with five funny/interesting facebook statuses each day. It's not easy.

On the plus side, I am Twitter friends with Big Daddy Drew, Colin Meloy, and Steve Buscemi. This assignment would be nothing for Buscemi, by the way: in the last 14 hours, he's 'tweeted' 23 times and counting. I feel like that's information everyone needs to know.

The other, more obvious reason for my Twitter hatred is because when I tried to get lazy and rush a top ten list about the world's most athletic tweeters, the ruthless and always hilarious TTCS commenters tore me a new one. "I live in the Gold Coast, I don't give a fuck about Kerry Rhodes," will always be a personal favorite of mine.

The list got torn to shreds and deservedly so. That's why I thought it was so funny when I was going through FullCourtPress, the Sun-Times' main sports blog that I have written for in the past, and saw Roman's latest post:


Ha! Clearly Roman, who pays us for Top Ten, does not read our site. I mean he can't, right?

2. The latest on CUTLERGATE

Denver Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler has forfeited a $100,000 workout bonus by missing more thant 10 percent of his team's offseason conditioning program, the Denver Post reported in its Monday edition.

All well and good, yes, but forgive me if I can't muster up any real energy to write a lengthy post on this (thankfully Stompy did it for me). As soon as the Culter situation looked like it was getting a little weird, I mentioned the Bears should trade their first three draft picks to Denver to get him. Stompy one upped me, saying give em' the whole draft. And I guess, if you're already giving up your first three picks, why not give throw in rounds 4-7? If it'll give the Bears their first legit quarterback since Sid Luckman, who I'm pretty sure fought in the French and Indian War prior to strapping on the leather helmet for the beloved, then I'm down.

But we've just been burned so many times with superstar trade talk in this town that I'm not getting my hopes up. Like at all. As you can tell from the fantastic headline on this Kobe-to-the-Bulls post a while back, I don't even like writing about this stuff. I guess the one case where I truly thought a big-time player could be traded to Chicago was with Amare, and look what happened there. No way Jay Cutler is the Bears quarterback in 2009. Prove me wrong, all powerful jinx.

3. Oh hey, look at the first comment on that Kobe post:


How's that goin' for ya now, Stompy? But, you see, that's the great thing about blogs: when Mike North says fucktarded shit on the radio, no one can ever really call him out on it. There aren't any archives. But us bloggers, oh yes, our stupidity is cataloged. 

I never listen to sports talk radio anymore, but I used to all the time with my dad. I distinctly remember North wanting the Bulls to draft Kris Humphries with the third pick in the 04 draft (the Bulls took Ben Gordon instead), and wanting the Bears to take Sebastian Janikowski with the 9th pick in 2000 (the Bears took Brian Urlacher instead). I also remember him wanting Heath Miller. The common thread here? All white guys! That's the type of bullshit he should be called out on, and maybe fired for if the pattern continued. My point here (if I have one) is that it'll be interesting to see how archives changes stuff for all people in the media in the future.

4. Your 2009 White Sox: now without Jerry Owens. But lets not forget that without his pulled groin, Q! may simply be Q. Way to take one for the betterment of the franchise there, Jerry. But how does Mike MacDougal make the team again? Dude's got more lives than a cat.

White Sox baseball, just six days away.

5. In response to yesterday's college hoops post: As far as awkward Big 10 centers go, I'll see your Drew Naymick and raise you Nick Smith.