I Hate Everybody - Act II

Week 17 of the NFL season was enough to resurrect the ghost of TUP's least run regular feature

In 2006, the Pats and Bears were eliminated from the playoffs within a span of about 24 hours. I remember thinking it was probably the worst I'd ever feel as an NFL fan. Then in the next two seasons, the Bears and Pats both lost back-to-back Super Bowls.

Seriously, though, yesterday was almost as bad as the last three years of suck.

Both squads came into Week 17 with a chance to not only make the playoffs, but to win their respective divisions. Needless to say, neither did. The situations were polar opposites, really.

The Pats took care of business in 75 mph wind. The Bears coughed up a winnable game in Houston. After losing, the Bears got several necessary breaks to make the playoffs. After winning, the Pats received no breaks of any kind.

For those reasons and more, Week 17 is the target of this week's I Hate Everybody (dedicated to David Tyree).

NFL Week 17

6) "Division" Champions/Undeserving Wild Cards: Four teams are in the playoffs who finished with a worse record than the Patriots. Still, it's not the BCS. So, while the NFL playoff selections were a bit off this year, I trust it to fall back in line in the coming seasons. Not like the BCS, which gets it right once every nine years or so.

5) The Bears' situation: I don't hate the team. I don't (really) hate the coaches. And while I fundamentally disagree on just about every decision he makes, I really don't hate Jerry Angelo. I love the flashes Brandon Lloyd has shown, Danieal Manning's athletic potential, the development of Devin Hester, and even Kyle Orton's surprising progression. But it's the situation, man.

Last year's team ranged from bad to mediocre. This year's team ranged from mediocre to slightly above average. Nowhere in the last two years will you see the words "good" or "great," because, simply, those descriptions were nowhere to be found.

With 2009 already on a lot of people's minds, there's not a whole not the team can do to remedy the situation. While I've heard some ideas I can get behind, nothing major can be done to give fans realistic hope of an elite team next year. The only truly optimistic thing you can say is "Well, the Bears were supposed to be a bottom feeder this year, and they were decent. So, maybe in 2009, if we expect them to be decent, maybe they'll develop into something great and surprise us."

Yeah, maybe.

4) Jacksonville Jaguars: Way to suck. People picked you to win the Super Bowl. You beat the Steelers in the playoffs last year. Tell me, what the hell happened?! Thanks for beating the Ravens, guys. You're like the Bears -- probably/maybe good coaches, unarguable talent scattered throughout the roster, and mass confusion with whatever results you end up producing.

3) Houston Texans: When the Texans lost to the Colts in the Week 5 Sage Rosenfels "Helicopter Spin" game, I felt awful for them. But watching Schaub and Andre Johnson torch the Bears' secondary, I longed to see them lose again -- no matter how embarrassing it was for the fans and franchise. I wanted flames, explosions, and above all else, failure. Didn't happen.

(But how unbelievably awesome was Steve Slaton? He looks like he's going to be incredible for a very, very long time. Though, part of me will never forgive him for leaving Pat White behind at West Virgina this year.)

2) Jets fans: I had a buddy attend the Jets-Dolphins game yesterday. Between the boos, people leaving early (during a competitive last game of the season!), and the general idiocy, I ended up asking: what was the deal with the "Let's go Dolphins!" chants I heard in the Meadowlands?

"Yeah, it was Dolphins fans cheering at first, but when the crowd saw the score of the Ravens game, the Jets fans joined in with the Dolphins fans to cheer against the Patriots."

Jets fans, this is we're you're at: cheering against your team, at your home stadium, to rally against the Pats. Oh, to be inferior.

The worst part is realizing Bears fans would probably do the same thing if they were playing the Vikings and it meant the Packers wouldn't go to the playoffs. The general negativity I experienced during the MNF Bears-Pack game last week was unbelievable.

1) Brett Favre's predictable failure: We've covered you here. I think, when the dust finally settled at the conclusion of Week 17, Brett Lorenzo Favre finally ran out of ways to screw me over. It's now time for him to retire, absolutely forever.

Most of the points were hit by Shanoff this morning:

What a fitting ending to Brett Favre's "comeback" and, hopefully, his career: A ridiculously stupid pick to seal the loss for the Jets, with the Fins' margin of victory equal to a classic Favre pick-6 that he threw earlier in the game. (Yeah, sure: Keep blaming Favre's shoulder.)

Did anybody see Favre's awful forward lateral during the second-to-last play of the Jets game? Wow. You can go home now, Brett.

My favorite Favre related comment I heard all day was on Mike Reiss' Pats blog. Something like, "It's time to cremate the corpse of Brett Favre." And sorry, LaMont Jordan. Brett Favre may not be as great as the media makes him out to be.

There is a silver lining. Rickhouse was 100% correct: Brett Favre's eventual end in the NFL was absolutely glorious.

Saving face in Week 17: While I'm no Cowboy hater, that Eagles-Cowboys game was pretty hilarious. Also, I pretty much enjoy watching anything Darren Sproles does.

Solidifying my position on Week 17: The Arizona Cardinals will host a home playoff game.

Random picture I came across while google-ing stuff for this post: When on earth did the Dunge write a childrens book?! How did I miss this?!

Bonus Google pic:



Later this week... A look at who Bears fans -- or fans of any eliminated team, really -- can consider rooting for in the playoffs.