Dubs wants you to know that Dubs is no longer in last place

(Ed. note: I actually get to give my full attention to Derrick Rose tonight for the first time all year, so expect some Bulls-Hawks thoughts tomorrow. Until then, here's Dubs take on TUP Pick Em' action. Oh, and buy the new Free Darko book. I think this post captures the site perfectly.)

BY DUBS

Rank      Pick Set Name                Total Points / Group Points
1    Green Pinstripes            92        85
1    Arinitout                92        85
1    Hester Hester Child Molester        91        85
4    Ricky's Wrecking Crew        89        82
4    PlayingToWinThatPicture        87        82
6    House is a Slunt            86        80
7    Rick Sutcliffe’s Colon        82        77
8    Bears = Disaster            82        76
9    Southern Illinoise            75        75
10    Finding Forrester            74        74
11    Depressed Fan                73        73

Look at that folks. Rick Sutlciffe’s Colon is cancer free for the second straight week! I, Dubs, have boldly led my team out of the shit-clogged gutter and into the land of mediocrity and relative cleanliness – a place where I have laid my crown since middle school. Does it bother me that three of the four teams I am beating missed a week of picks. Absolutely not. Do I feel extremely pleased that I am crushing fantasy analyst and NFL expert Matt Olsen? You bet your ass.

This is something new and special for – that is not finishing last an NFL fantasy league. I have partaken in fantasy football once in my life. I was 12 and drafted a team with my dad. As little as I know about the NFL, my dad knows even less, so to say we finished last is a like saying the Reds have a fighting chance with Dusty Baker as their manager. We absolutely got crushed.

So when I look at those standings and see Rick Sutcliffe’s Colon is in seventh (SEVENTH!!!) place, you could say that I am a little more than ecstatic. Kind of like when Andy Dick wakes up alive or when Ricky doesn’t find fallen out hair on his pillow.

Life is good for me in TUP Pick ‘Em League and I will take this small two week victory and celebrate it with a bottle of Jack, by myself, like a good fantasy dweeb. I am also going to steel the Phillies infamous slogan and spin it for my team, the not last place Rick Sutcliffe’s Colon: “Why Can’t US not finish last.” God, this feels good.

Remember losers the Jets play the Patriots Thursday, so get your picks in.

NWO 4 LIFE, bitches!