Bearly Relevant: Week Two, the return of the Moose

After all the shit I talked about the Bears the last five months, you probably would have expected me to be shocked by last week’s beat down of the Colts. And I was, I guess, but not really. Maybe it’s because I’ve read Simmons too much for far too long. If I’ve learned anything from that guy, it’s that Hostel will be shown 40,000 times on HBO, all tall, American born white people suck at basketball, and that Jimmy Kimmel owns a lot of tvs. If I’ve learned anything else from him, it’s probably that when everyone goes one way with an opinion about a sports team, it’s almost certainly wrong.


Maybe this is totally arrogant (and possibly just flat out wrong), but I think I thought the Bears were going to suck before everyone else did (see, I was wrong first!). Just check out the bottom of this post from April, written even before the draft.

As the season began to creep closer, it seemed the public agreed: this was going to be one terrible Bears team. And why not? Think about all the weird stuff that happened this offseason. They lost their best offensive player (Berrian) to a division rival, resigned the guy everyone thought was as good as gone (Briggs), didn’t draft a quarterback, and watched virtually any decent player bitch about their contract, including the face of the franchise (Urlacher), which culminated in him threatening to retire. I think Cedric Benson might have fucked up once too or something.

 
But everyone, myself included, forgot something in the process: this Bears defense is still absolutely loaded. How many sets of corners are better than Chuck Tillman and Vasher? Are there a pair of linebackers more ferocious than Urlacher and Briggs? And what about Tommie Harris? At 24, the guy got seven sacks on one leg last season, playing less than half the plays because of it. He’s probably the best defensive tackle in the NFL.

That’s why I’m completely, 100% sold on the Bears right now. Because of all the injuries last season, everyone forgot how good this team was. I realized it when Briggs scored. It was like déjà vu. That was classic 05-06 Bears D right there. Tillman clubbed the ball from Marvin Harrison’s hands, and when Briggs picked it up, he knew what he had to do: score. Common logic is to dive on that ball to make sure you secure the turnover. Lovie’s Bears do just the opposite. They push as hard as they can to find the end zone. Such is life with John St. Clair as your left tackle.

The spread

Panthers -3

Around the web

King: All you out there who thought the Panthers would go 2-0 without Steve Smith, raise your hands. Now, now, Mrs. Fox. Your vote doesn't count.

Big Daddy Drew: The Panthers had a Young-to-Owens miracle finish last week, and if you didn’t see it, you never would have known it happened, because ESPN was doing their whole sky-is-falling horseshit about Brady. THAT WAS A FUCKING AWESOME ENDING, JOHN SKIPPER. FUCKING SHOW THAT SHIT, ASSHOLE. THERE ARE OTHER GODDAMN TEAMS OUT THERE.

SI FanNation sez…

Panthers, 64%

ESPN experts….

Aren't unanimous this time. As of now, six picked Carolina, two picked the Bears. Baby steps, people.

The enemy’s take:

I couldn’t find any good Panthers blogs. How disappointing.

Key to the game: Stopping Julius Peppers

I know, I know, Peppers really hasn’t been that good in two years. But Dwight Freeney seemed to go through a career rejuvenation machine last week, so don’t rule out Peppers doing the same thing. Though the offensive line did play very well last week, they need to continue to do it. If Peppers blows by the Johns the same way Freeney did, Orton could be in for a long day. The only bad pass Orton made last week was when Freeney hit him in about .7 seconds. Luckily, the Colts dropped an easy pick. That might not happen again.

Matchup Bears should win

Charles Tillman vs. Mushin Muhammad

Matchup Bears should lose

Peppers vs. St. Clair

Sweet 90’s rap song that may or may not remind you of James ‘Big Cat’ Williams

Warren G and Nate Dogg- Regulate

Bears win if

The defense continues to force turnovers like it’s 2006

Bears lose if

I’m totally overreacting after just one game against a very banged up Colts team that is probably on the decline anyway.

In the end

Bears 23, Panthers 10