Bearly Relevant: Week Three, welcome back Brian

This is only game three for the Bears, and already I’ve gone through three completely different takes on them. At first, I was convinced they would be horrible. But then the season opener against the Colts happened, and I remembered how great this defense can be when it’s aggressive, arrogant, and healthy. I really thought after that first game the Bears were going to be one of the better teams in the NFC.

Last week’s game against Carolina tampered those thoughts, but not totally. The Bears played well, well enough to win to be sure, but still lost. It was a little weird. For the entirety of my life, even when the Bears win, it still always seems like they should lose. But under Lovie Smith, and for that one unforgettable 2001 season under Jauron, the Bears have found ways to pull off head scratching victories. How many times have you watched the Bears lose and thought, “Man, they really should have won that game,”?  It hardly ever happens.


Now after seeing these Bears for two games- a team that features a lot of familiar faces but still feels, I don’t know, different?- I think I have a true read. The Bears will almost certainly win eight or nine games. They’re pretty good, but still so, so flawed. The defense is one injury away from a significant drop off, Hester’s ribs could linger all season, and, worst of all, Orton connects on deep passes about as often as Dubs connects on a joke. That is to say, never.

So ask yourself this: how far can a football team go with a quarterback who can only throw the ball eight yards or fewer? That isn’t to say Orton is horrible, because I really don’t think he is. I’ve even heard a few people call for Rex this week, if you can believe that. Sure, Grossman would have hit Marty Booker on that wide open bomb last week. But he also would have thrown two picks, fumbled once, and destroyed his pants worse than AJ Daulerio after eating a plate full of figs. That is to say, things would have gotten pretty shitty.


Please realize this: Orton will be the quarterback for the remainder of the season, and he should be. He’s like that guy at work who is marginally incompetent and makes everyone’s lives a little harder. But the company still needs him because, well, he isn’t totally incompetent. Without him, you’d just have to train a new guy, and no one wants to go through that adjustment period.

As a service to yourself, get a grasp on this Bears team. Don’t go into every week thinking they suck (they don’t) or that they’re ticketed for the Super Bowl (they’re not). Once you understand this, the games are a lot less stressful and little more fun.

The spread

Bears -3

Around the web

Big Daddy Drew: "   ."

King: "When I spoke with Jake Delhomme after the Panthers-Bears game Sunday, he talked about the Chicago defense the way a promising young golfer would talk about Tiger Woods: with awe and just a little fear. Not saying Brian Griese will feel the same way Sunday leaving Soldier Field, but I think the Urlachers will leave a couple of nice welts on their old friend."

SI FanNation sez…

Bears, 74% (!)

ESPN’s experts agree…

At least six of the eight of them do.

Key to the game: "It’s simple. Kill The Grease Man."

(Imagine Bob Babich saying that in his best Joker impression just as he kills Hunter Hillenmeyer with a pencil.)

Brian Griese is the Bucs starting quarterback. He sucks. You may have known that because last year he happened to do that sucking for the Bears. You know who else knows that? The Bears defense.

Everything we’ve heard or read from this group the last four years tells us that they are the cockiest bastards of all-time. Do you really think they’re going to let Brian fucking Griese beat them? Don’t be surprised if Griese can’t finish the game. The Bears will want to hit him, and hit him often. Griese should take more hits on Sunday than Sports with Zach Martin gets all year. If that happens, the Bears win.

Matchup the Bears should win

Tillman and Vasher versus an underwhelming group of receivers

Matchup the Bears should lose

Gaines Adams versus John St. Clair

Sweet 90’s alt rock song that may or may not remind you of Jim Flanigan

The Toadies- Possum Kingdom

The Bears win if

Brian Griese leaves on a stretcher

The Bears lose if

Ernest Graham has a big day and the offensive can’t do anything without Hester

Mock my previous predictions

Bearly Relevant: read them all

In the end

Bears 17, Bucs 9