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By Dubs
I think Balls Deep (Drew Magary) of Deadspin put it best on the reason I will stay anonymous today: I have a fucking job! (Ironically he revealed his real name in the same story)
I have been the antagonist on this splendid site for about three weeks now and why, because I’m a Cubs fan? I’m sorry I grew up in the northern suburbs. That clearly makes me gay, innately retarded to anything baseball related and I obviously eat cat shit. To be fair, you guys are drunk, wife-beating, jailbird trash.
Sure, you hate the media coverage that the Cubs get and sure we don’t understand why you have such a problem with Wrigley Field - it’s fun to go to games there, isn’t baseball supposed to be enjoyable? I get that there are idiot Cubs fans [ed note: linking to something I wrote? Now that's how you earn more guest posts here. Take note, soldiers] at Wrigley every game, but as I have stated many times, the reason for this is that Wrigley is sold out every game. The real fans get washed out by the out-of-towner douches. It is not as prevalent at Cell Phone Company Field because it does not sell out (ironic since that is exactly what they did).
But, should these differences really make us bitter enemies?
Not necessarily.
I think there is more that binds us Cubs/Sox fans than that tears us apart.
For one, we both hate the McCaskey family, Ron Santo, the Yankees and can confidently say that Derek Jeter is a closet-homo and feel no regrets. We both love our deep dish pizza, Ditka, the Bulls, Second City and of course Da Bears. And most importantly we both agreed to beat up this guy, despite team loyalty:
Very little truly separates Cubs fans from Sox fans. There might be a little awkwardness as we take off our black and gray or blue and red, but that will pass when Derrick Rose hits a soaring Tyrus Thomas for a game winning alley-oop or Sexy Rexy actually steps into a throw and delivers a perfect deep ball to a streaking Devin Hester.
So, in the mean time let’s enjoy the next few months and our respected division races. Hopefully, we will see two Chicago teams in October and just maybe a Red Line series.
And if that happens, once again, you all can eat shit and die.
But until then, can’t we all just get along?
Shit-hole Mariotti conclusion tying it all together (check!)
-Dubs
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Comments
See, I don't mind him as much as some people. At least he gives an actual opinion- after all, that's what a columnist is supposed to do, right? I like Jay better than the two guys from the Trib, Downey and Morrisey, for that reason.
But yeah...I don't understand how you can be a columnist at a major paper and write something just to take a contririan point of view and stir up controversy. I mean, that is just beyond stupid. The point of the columnist, I think, is to be right- argue and explain stuff and you may better comprehend than the average sports fan. Mariotti does the exact opposite, and it's really stupid a lot of the time.
But Mariotti's "opinions" aren't real. He just says stuff to get a reaction from people. And his White Sox bias is so ridiculous. Leading up to the '05 Series, he just kept saying how the Sox would lose. Division race? Lose. ALDS? Lose. ALCS? Lose. And you know what? That's fine. But even when the Sox went to the Series against the Astros with all the momentum in the world, he still picked them to lose.
Now that they've won, Mariotti -- in his anti-Ozzie rants in oh-so many columns -- has been playing the "2005 was a fluke" card all year. Get into the locker room and stop being such a baby. If the Cubs ever won the World Series, Mariotti would never let people forget it, and I guaran-damn-tee he would never try to diminish their accomplishment. That, friends, is a bias.
Man, I hate Mariotti so much.