Time to pound the Pirates

2-5 last week. 6-0 the week before. Baseball is crazy. But with the Pirates heading to Chicago for a three game series, the Sox need to win at least two of three. A sweep going into the Cubs series wouldn’t be bad either.

The Sox do have a few problems right now. Paul Konerko is probably headed to the 15-day DL. It seems like Josh Fields is the obvious choice to replace his “power” bat, but I doubt he can make a seamless transition to first base after playing third all season. Instead, you’ll probably see Swisher at first and Anderson in center. That’s ok by me. It’s not like Paulie has been producing many runs this season; you would think Anderson may be able to prevent as many with his stellar D up the middle. Oh yeah, say no to Brad Eldred.

My guy Quentin has been struggling too, as legendary TUP antagonist Z-Mart likes to point out. All hitters, no matter how super, go through slumps. I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about, but let’s make sure. Quentin should be fresh after a couple of days off and ready to hammer the always shaky Pittsburgh starters.

This is actually kind of a big series for the Sox. They need to kill, destroy, and pulverize these laughable Pirates. You can’t lose two of three to those guys and then go to face the surging Cubbies in what should be the most hyped June series in Chicago baseball history. So the Sox need to put some minor concerns to rest the next three days. Let’s see them take care of biz so this weekend can be a battle royal between two great teams instead of two good ones going in opposite directions.

Also: who here is worried about the Tigers? I’m really not. Sure, Verlander will be much better, but that’s one guy. If the Tigers are going to make a run, they’re going to need at least four really good starters. Verlander is one. Do they have three more? Armando Galarraga has been solid, but I certainly have more confidence in Danks and Floyd going forward. And six games is a lot to make up. The only team that kind of scares me in the Central is the Indians, but whatever. This division is the Sox’ to lose, people. And really, when you think about it, it’s not that early anymore.

So let’s see the Sox layeth the smackdown on Pittsburgh and then get ready to slug it out against the Cubs. If the Sox take four of six from the Cubs this month, something I think will happen, does all this Cubbie fever start to subside? I hope so.  

PS: I need some more Alexei in my life. If this was five years ago, I’d say I have a fever and the only prescription is more Alexei, and that if he plays, we will all soon be wearing gold plate diapers, but, of course, I would never make such a joke now because it would be criminally lame. But yeah. No more Uribe, please.

Finally: Even though I'm chalk full of company pride right now (because making Kevin Youkilis jokes is way cooler than working til 2 am in an office every weekend), I admit this is rad. I bet that's how they teach it at Northwestern.

***
Also: The Fantasy Factor. Did I mention how funny I am?