Kyle Orton: beer chugger, beard grower,
environmentalist.LAKE FOREST, Ill. – Bears quarterback Kyle Orton on Tuesday visited two Chicago elementary schools to speak to students about ways they can be more environmentally friendly.
Now don’t me wrong, it’s great Orton is doing this. I’m all for the environment and whatnot. But wouldn’t you expect your social activists to, uh, look a little more respectable than this:
Even more perplexing…
Orton partnered with the Chicago Conservation Corps during the 2007 football season and visited different Chicago schools each Tuesday to speak about the importance of conservation. He has more visits scheduled in April. Orton is also featured in a segment on the new Kid Zone at ChicagoBears.com called “Kyle’s Go Green Tip of the Week,” to help educate young fans about how they can be more environmentally friendly.
“Kyle’s Go Green Tip of the Week” has to be the funniest thing I’ve heard all week. Who would ever take environmental advice from Orton? I mean, of all people. Just look at him. This man is helping mold the young minds of Chicago.
Maybe if it was Kyle’s whiskey of the week, or something, I’d feel a little more comfortable. If he wants to help Chicago's youth, why not give dance lessons? The man cut a rug.
He's also apparently good at, well, this.
Come on Kyle, that's already
Amaechi's thing! You're just supposed to get wasted, remember?
Much better.
Note 1: Check out
TTCS for my Top Ten Biggest Sissies post today. Putting Wood and Prior both in the top three was quite satisfying.
Kyle Orton's Go Green Tip of The Week is to smoke a lot of green pot.
Go Green Tip of the Week:
Hi kids-
Contrary to popular belief, hummers really are environmentally friendly. Nothing protects the environment like doing manual labor in place of CO2 emitting machines. Stay in school.
Love,
Kyle
And hey kids, no sense in chasing after defensive backs after interceptions when you know you can't catch them anyway. It saves oxygen and preserves the turf. And stuff.
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