Trent Dilfer holds our fate

As if the Patriots and Cowboys being the class of their respective conferences wasn’t bad enough, remember this: they both could have top five draft picks next year. New England’s video taping shenanigans got their own first rounder taken away, but they own San Francisco’s first pick in 2008 from the Joe Staley trade. Dallas owns Cleveland’s first rounder because of the draft day deal that ended Brady Quinn’s free fall.

The two most despicable franchises in the NFL are on the top of their game right now, and an incoming top five draft pick could push them over the top. Just imagine how dominant the Cowboys would be with Darren McFadden next season, or the Pats adding another defensive stud like Chris Long, James Laurinaitis, or Kenny Phillips. These things have a legitimate possibility of happening, and would be a nightmare for the rest of the NFL.

People always talk about the Baseball Gods, but if Football Gods exist, they must stop this. No one outside Dallas could possibly root for a team owned by Jerry Jones that employs Terrell Owens. Believe it or not, Tony Romo is the best quarterback in the NFC. They’ll soon lock him up with a new extension, and at only 27, he’ll be good for a long time. Adding another big time playmaker to that offense, which they will if Derek Anderson doesn’t continue his improbable competence, would make things very hard on teams like the Bears. 

As for the Pats, everyone already knows they’re dirty cheaters. The last thing I need to see is another monster on that team. They’ve beaten everyone by three touchdowns without their second best player, Richard Seymour, playing a game all year. This already might be one of the best teams ever, they certainly don't need more young talent. It’s not like they deserve it either. There’s no way the Patriots win three championships without Belichick’s video camera, and that tarnishes the entire dynasty. For all we know, Brady is on steroids. The guy sucked in college, goes to the NFL as a sixth round pick, #199 overall, and suddenly he gains 25 pounds and can throw a football 30 yards further. It almost makes too much sense. Someone tell John Clayton to get on this.

The moral of the story is this, kids: pray for Alex Smith to heal quickly, adopt Braylon Edwards as your new favorite receiver, and let’s hope Cleveland and San Fran finish around .500. If not, the next decade or so could be a disaster.